BBC随身英语｜是否存在一辈子的朋友？

Is there a friend for life?

Who do you count as your friends? From our BFF to a work mate, it's good to have someone to chew the fat with or offer comfort and support. But when it comes to friendship, is it more important to have quantity or quality?
谁是你的朋友？从我们最好的朋友到工作伙伴，有人可以闲聊或提供安慰和支持是很好的。但是对于友谊来说，是数量更重要还是质量更重要呢?

The recent isolation we have endured due to the coronavirus pandemic has made some of us question our friendships. We've fallen out of touch with friends and acquaintances, and it may feel awkward, but do we actually have to rekindle every relationship we once had? It might be time to take stock and think about who you kept in touch with, who you missed talking to, and who you didn't. In short, maybe it's time to reset your list of real mates.
由于最近冠状病毒大流行导致的隔离，我们中的一些人开始质疑我们的友谊。我们与朋友和熟人失去了联系，这可能会让人感到尴尬，但我们真的需要重新点燃我们曾经拥有的每一段关系吗？也许是时候反思一下，思考你与谁保持了联系，你想念与谁交谈，以及你忽略了与谁交谈。简而言之，也许是时候重新审视你的真正朋友名单了。


There's no obligation to stay friends, and writing for BBC Worklife, Bryan Lufkin says: "While people have known for years that friendships are unquestionably good for your health, experts say it's only natural for acquaintances and even friends to fall by the wayside as time goes on – and it's nothing to feel guilty about."
我们没有保持朋友关系的义务，布莱恩·卢夫金在BBC《工作生活》上写道:“虽然人们多年前就知道友谊无疑对健康有好处，但专家们表示，随着时间的推移，熟人甚至朋友都不再熟络是很自然的事情，没什么好内疚的。”

Of course, it can be hard to choose who's in your friendship circle. This is what Suzanne Degges-White, professor of counselling at Northern Illinois University, calls our ‘friendscape'. She says, "in life, as we go through certain stages and ages, our attention shifts, and we want to be around people who are like us."
当然，选择谁在你的交友圈是很难的。这就是北伊利诺伊大学心理咨询教授苏珊娜·德格斯-怀特所说的“朋友圈”。她说:“在生活中，随着我们经历特定的阶段和年龄，我们的注意力会发生转移，我们希望身边的人和我们一样。”

So, changing friends is normal, but we still need those special pals who've known us long term. These are friendships we invest time in. According to Robin Dunbar, a professor of evolutionary psychology at the University of Oxford, these are your inner circle of friends – your "shoulders to cry on" – and you have to see them at least once a week to keep them in that circle. He adds that the friends that do drift are mostly "friendships of convenience". But the advice for maintaining a good friendship is to share how you feel with someone you trust – this can help strengthen your friendship as well as giving you both a chance to support each other.
所以，换朋友是正常的，但是我们仍然需要那些认识我们很久的特别的朋友。这些是我们投入时间的友谊。根据牛津大学进化心理学教授罗宾·邓巴的说法，这些是你的核心朋友圈——你的“哭泣肩膀”——你必须每周至少见他们一次，才能让他们留在那个圈子里。他补充说，那些疏远的朋友大多是“便利友谊”。但是，保持良好友谊的建议是，与你信任的人分享你的感受，这有助于巩固你们的友谊，也给你们双方一个相互支持的机会。

词汇表
BFF (best friend forever) 最好的朋友
work mate 同事，工友
chew the fat 闲聊
comfort 安慰
friendship 友谊
out of touch 不常联系，疏远
acquaintance 泛泛之交，相识的人
rekindle 重新燃起（一段关系、感情）
relationship 关系
take stock 反思，仔细考虑
mate 伙伴，朋友
fall by the wayside 中途放弃，不再熟络
friendship circle 交友圈
friendscape 朋友圈
pal 好友
inner circle 核心（朋友）圈
a shoulder to cry on 可以倾诉的对象
drift 渐渐疏远
friendship of convenience 便利友谊，由于便利而结成的友谊
strengthen 增强，巩固

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