“吃一堑长一智。”他们说。 They say, every setback is a step towards wisdom. 于是我试图变得更好更聪明，努力铺平道路。 So I tried to become better, smarter, working hard to smooth the road ahead. 但后来发现道路没有变平，倒是磨坏了我自己。 But over time, I realized the road hadn't been leveled, instead, it was I who had been worn down. 后来我才发现只有所谓的"堑"，但是根本没有所谓的"智"。世界太无序了，感觉自己无论做什么都是错的。我陷入了经验虚无主义。 Eventually, I came to see that while the setbacks were real, the wisdom was nowhere to be found. The world is chaotic, and it feels as though no matter what I do, it's always wrong. I fell into a deep sense of experiential nihilism. 可只有当你拥有自己的主体性，当你选择站在自己这边，而不是跟随服从于他人为你设定的标准，才会发现这世上很多事本没有对与错。 It is only when you claim your own subjectivity, when you choose to stand by yourself rather than following the standards set by others, you start to see that many things in this world have no inherent right or wrong. 喜欢和讨厌，赞同或反对，正统和颠覆，上与下，美与丑，都只关乎“利己”。 Likes and dislikes, agreement or opposition, orthodoxy and subversion, nobility and filthiness, beauty and ugliness—at the core, it’s all just a matter of interest. 当你被视为女巫， When you are seen as a witch 当他们被你的力量威胁， When they are threatened by your power 当他们想要熄灭你的光芒， When they want to smother your flames 他们就会给你贴上污名。 They stigmatize you. 独居是错的，研究医学是错的，拒绝结婚也是错的。 Living alone is wrong, studying medicine is wrong, refusing to get married is wrong. 任何事都是错的，任何事都可能把你送上他们点燃的火刑架。 Anything is wrong, anything can send you to be burned by the fire they set. 唯一的出路不是逃离火焰，而是利用它。 The only way out is not to escape the fire, but to make use of it. 冠我以恶名吧，你的火焰只是我裙摆的装饰。 Call me by harsh names, and your fire will decorate my dress.