自律是个伪命题，Self-Discipline Is A Myth

10分钟 ·3年前

3923

I always hear people say, "I am not self-disciplined" enough.

Sounds like a reason to explain why we fail to accomplish our goals, but if you think deeply about it, you will find that the real reason is not that we are not self-disciplinary or we don't have enough willpower.

Those who manage to read books every day don't consume willpower to do so. They are just readers.

Those who rise early and run every day don't feel friction to do so. They are just early risers and runners.

Let's break the myth and focus on the real issue.

展开Show Notes

Jessie爱摸鱼

2022.2.15

Those who have kept good habits for a long period of time don't consume willpower. It is just because they enjoy them. Instead, if you need to consume a lot of willpower to force yourself to stick to those good habits, that means you don't like them. You can use your willpower to make yourself self - disciplined. But it is hard to stick to the end. However, you can try to find interest and beauty in them. So you won't need to consume willpower to force yourself to stick to them. You will be willing to do them for love and interest.

BT主播Niki

:this is exactly my core message. thx for summarizing🥰🥰🥰

HD452409t

2022.2.20

Listening to your podcast is really a pleasure for me🥰🥰

BT主播Niki

:thx! seeing your warm comments, likewise, is a huge pleasure for me☺️☺️☺️

Pyx耶

2023.7.22

02:56 this is the newest episode,

Welcome to this new episode, so today l’d like to address a topic , a very interesting one actually, I’m pretty sure that u guys all heard about it. That ’s self-discipline, so here is the thing the other day when I finished my class, I was back to leave, a student just came up to me and raised a question and it was like I want to improve my self-discipline cuz I always feel too lazy to study English. I always want to do sth else. Like playing computer games or playing basketball or whatever anyway, he didn’t want to do anything regarding English. So he was asking me how he can improve his willpower and put more effort into English study.

Isn’t it interesting? I mean I believe that a lot of 没听清 are thinking about this issue.i mean we seem to have seen a lot of people they kind like they are living the best version of their lives. They can rise every morning at about 5 o clock. And then they go for a an hour running . Then they can do a two-hours reading before they can deal with their working emails or sth. And then at the noon time ,they always seem to choose the perfect food like the healthiest food . So we just assume that these people are leading this kind of lifestyle just because they have a great power just because they are self-discilinary enough so that they can resist this tempetation, even some junk food and sleeping in too late like 10 o clock every morning. But, if u r really this type of person, like, in other people’s eyes, u r super self-disciplined ,but if u r him, u probably know u r doing everything not because u r forced to do so , not because u r consuming ur willpower to do so , but cuz it is natural for u to do so困了，有时间再接着写吧哈哈哈

BT主播Niki

:哈哈哈你好可爱！喜欢你

Pyx耶

2023.7.24

05:21 U don’t think it is a problem to rise early in the morning about 5o clock everyday, if u like, this is your habit. There is no friction between u and this behavior. And similarly, the reason why u read English everyday is cuz it is just who u r . U don’t need to force urself to pick up like an English textbook or some google articles to read. U don’t feel sort of like frustrated because of it. And also if u run everyday, it is not because u force urself to run, it is basically because running probably makes u feel relaxed and ha ppy and that is the way u start the day. Just the same as how we start our day with our everyday coffee.u will not believe that u drink coffee cuz u r self-disciplined. U ‘ll definitely not say so, right? Here is actually the myth. In my opinion, self discipline is a huge myth. And willpower is a huge myth. If we r really use the resource which is willpower to do something , that won’t last long . Cuz u r fighting against urself, when u r trying to use ur willpower to do sth. So in this question I just told the student that this is not a very good question, he should not really be thinking about how to improve his willpower ,but ,he should be thinking about how to enjoy English. Cuz when u can really get happiness, or joy or fun out of doing sth, u’ll do it naturally.nobody has to force u to do that. And u’ll pick up that thing automatically.so it is just who we are.so he continued to ask, how he can get some sort of sense of achievement, or fulfillment from English，so my suggestion was he should just start with some materials that is kind of like suitable with his current English ability

BT主播Yvonne

2022.2.15

and self-discipline are often misunderstood by some influencers. It doesn't mean "if you are on your diet, you cannot eat junk food even for just one time." It means "you have your free will to do anything to please yourself including eating junk food, and meanwhile there is a power(self-discipline) to hold you back when you go too far."

BT主播Niki

:i wanted to emphasize on the mindset and perspective. i wanted the listeners to forget about the idea of self-discipline and to focus on finding the beauty in doing things.

BT主播Yvonne:In this aspect, I totally agreed.

Agnes_88

2022.5.01

01:46 求一下bgm可以嘛

BT主播Niki

:The Joker and The Queen, by Ed Sheeran and Taylor Swift

Agnes_88:谢谢！

BT主播Yvonne

2022.2.15

04:49 In my opinion, sometimes at the very beginning of doing something new, you have no idea about whether you would like doing it or not. Then, you need someone to push you a little hard. This someone is yourself. Like what I said in BT, when I try something new, I would like to try my best (and I know it's not your preference). And as far as I see, when you really try hard, more or less you can find something interesting which could drive you to do these new things a little bit longer. And this "longer" may bring something more to you. and so on...

BT主播Niki

:thx for putting your idea out here too. ☺️☺️☺️

Wendy_EOaj

2023.9.23

求BGM

BT主播Niki

:Joker and the Queen, by Ed Sheeran and Taylor Swift

Eileen_QBw0

2022.2.16

啊啊啊听完播客再把评论看完就是很难不赞同😊☺️

BT主播Niki

:yes, the problem with the idea of "self-discipline" is that it assumes that we have to force ourselves to different degrees. but that perspective can be changed, and this is the real deal.

Eileen_QBw0:I hope we do something just because we like it instead of getting something.at some point,it’s very miserable to do something purposefully,that will make me feel i am not a person but a machine.and maybe the wrong thinking can let us obtain the achievements but it’s hard to say we’re enjoying it ,and in this case It’s difficult to last a quiet longtime.maybe we should do something from our hearts rather than hands and feet.

共3条回复

HD240932d

2024.2.19

02.19

Pyx耶

2023.7.25

10:01 Hopefully, this episode can kind of like give u a little bit insight in terms of habit changing. And if u have any further questions, please feel free to comment down below. I am gonna see u next round.

Pyx耶

2023.7.25

10:01 For example some students find it too challenging to start with TOEFL in the very beginning, cuz we all know that it is kind of challenging for some beginners so in this case instead of just forcing urself to do all these difficult texts, u probably can go for some kind like new concept series, cuz articles in those books are more basic and it will not put you so much stress so if u r just carve out 1 hour everyday, let’s say in the morning before eating ur breakfast or studying some other subjects with comparable difficulty , u will not think it is a torture. Instead u’ll think it as a good source of information 4 u, so u can kind of like continue on with this habit. And day by day, u find that English is no longer kind of a trouble for u . U started to understand the meaning of every sentence. And u can also read between the lines which indicates that ur English reading ability is rising very naturally and organically . So if I , actually right we are closing the end of the episode , I hope u have already got my message, the first message I want to deliver today is that forget about the so called self discipline . If u want to be someone who exercise everyday, don’t force urself. But try to enjoy and find fun. Don’t feel like kind of frustrated or painful when u r eating salad or something. U can enjoy the look and colors and chew it a little bit slowly then u can gradually feel the taste inside the salad. So u have to brain wash urself that it is delicious. U’ll fall in love the taste. And u will become a natural salad eater. no 2, regarding the specific question of learning English, if u like the only way u can derive fun out of English, it is to find some materials that u find easy to understand. Or it is just a little bit challenging but not too difficult. Cuz that will hold u back.u’ll find it intimidating. Listen to my podcast, u will gain some confidence. That is the beginning for u to become the master of English.

如意如意合我心意

2023.1.03

07:27 Not force yourself, but try to enjoy it. It's a good point to me

BT主播Yvonne

2022.2.15

这更新速度，听友表示很感动！

BT主播Niki

:因为这主播非常不自律！🤪

BT主播Yvonne

2022.2.15

one more thing, "self-discipline" is defined by "self". so, other people's self-disciplinary, say, getting up early morning every single day, may not suitable for you.

BT主播Yvonne

2022.2.15

好的，小作文写完了，谢谢老师，老师再见

BT主播Yvonne

2022.2.15

BUT, I don’t completely agree with that. To some degree, I do think there’s something could be qualified as self-discipline.

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