Hidden "Traps" in Intimate Relationships

In an intimate relationship, there are some deliberate manipulation tactics. For example:

1. Verbally claiming to attach importance to you but refusing to communicate with you in depth. This is to cause cognitive dissonance in you. Unconsciously, you will increase your emotional investment in this relationship. Eventually, these emotions will transform into affection, leading you to fall in love with someone who originally did not meet your requirements.
2. Maintaining overly close contact with other people of the opposite sex and insisting that they are just ordinary friends, and deliberately praising other women in front of you. This is to make you unconsciously enter into competition with others and feel that you can never securely possess this person no matter what.
3. Since you completely lack a sense of security, you are forced to verify your partner's love from some very trivial matters. For example, you start to demand an instant reply to messages and other things that you didn't originally care about. Therefore, if we find ourselves in a relationship asking our partner to do these trivial things, please pause for a moment and think about why. Why do we need him to reply to messages instantly? Are we trying to confirm our own value? If you don't realize this, these small demands of ours will eventually become the handle by which the other person blames you, accusing you of being a control freak who demands him to do many small things that he cannot do.
4. Because these manipulation means are very concealed and only target you, when you quarrel with the other person over these small things, the other person immediately accuses you of being selfish and petty. You have been in a state of extreme lack of security and self-doubt for a long time, resulting in an extremely unstable mental state.